True Love Never Lasts
by Tiny Wolverine
Summary: ... her skin was blue against the white sheets of the bed, and her breathing was shallow. Where once her beautiful vermilion hair grew abundantly was now bare. Her eyes were closed, and he didn't like the look of her fragile body... Crackfic
1. Chapter 1

**I hope you guys enjoy this! Please review... Flames are welcome!**

**Disclaimer: I'm so upset today... Last night I owned La Corda, but then my brother whacked me with his pillow and I woke up and realized that I don't own La Corda... (cries)**

**In advance, I apologize if any of the characters are OOC...  
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Chapter One **

Hino Kahoko was happy.

She had her violin, her family, her great friends, and a boyfriend no one else could even wish to be close to. Or so he says.

Her heart felt like it would burst from the love she felt for all of them, the first, second and last the most. As she walked, her face glowing, to the house she shared with him, she wondered why he had wanted her home so urgently. Maybe he has a surprise for her.

Kahoko giggled to herself as she stepped up to her apartment door. Before she could get her keys out, her longtime boyfriend, Tsuchiura Ryotaro, opened the door, smiling. He was wearing an ivory long-sleeved button-up shirt with a collar. A red tie hung around his neck, proof that he had been struggling to tie it on like he always had been before she arrived.

Then his brow furrowed. "What're you laughing at?" he asked, his deep voice husky and perfect.

Kahoko reached up and ruffled his hair; it was hard, because he was so tall.

"Oh, nothing," she said cheerfully. "Just you."

Ryotaro frowned anxiously. "Is there something wrong with my attire?" he asked.

"What? No! You look fine, Ryo. I was thinking why you would want me back so early, so I thought that you might want to surprise me… and so you did!" she added, fixing his tie properly. "What grown man needs help with his tie?"

Ryotaro relaxed, and laughed. "A grown man who wants his girlfriend to pay more attention to him than her work," he teased, but there was an edge in his voice.

Kahoko frowned. She knew that Ryo disliked her playing with Tsukimori, but this was ridiculous. Tsukimori-kun was her _employer_, while Ryo was her boyfriend.

"Relax," Ryo told her, softening his features and making her insides melt. "It's okay."

"It'd better be," Kahoko mumbled. "Or I'll be after you."

"That's good. I like girls running after me. Makes me feel more handsome," Ryo said, trying to lighten the atmosphere as he swept her into the apartment.

Kahoko rolled her eyes, and then, as she got a better look around, she gasped in complete shock.

"You've been busy," she accused the green-haired man, her onyx eyes narrowing slightly.

Ryo laughed freely. "Guilty."

The apartment was decorated nicely, and all the lights were off, leaving only scented candles – lavender, her favorite – to light up the place. The room had a mysterious feeling, and it was so romantic.

Kahoko looked appreciatively at her boyfriend. "I never thought you as a romantic person, but today you proved me wrong!"

Ryo growled as Kahoko laughed happily.

"Go sit down," he said abruptly. "I'll get the food."

As he strode off into the kitchen, Kahoko took her place in a ribbon-decorated chair, her gaze wandering around the beautifully decorated living room. There were more flowers than Kahoko left out this morning. Either they decided to start breeding while she was gone or Ryo really wanted this night to be romantic. Her lips twitched upward momentarily.

Before running a hand through her now long, straightened vermilion hair, Kahoko pulled out the pins from her hair and brushed her fluffy fringe from her face.

Ryo came out the kitchen just them, holding up two plates of food waiter style. He set one at her place – steak and potatoes with vegetables on the side, no less – before setting his down and sitting opposite her. Kahoko smiled at her, picking up her fork and knife.

As they ate, they talked about each other's day, and then, when they were done, Ryo picked up their plates and went into the kitchen with them, ignoring Kahoko's protests. She frowned. He soon came back with two translucent wine glasses and a bottle of red wine. He poured out the first one and sat it in front of Kahoko, and poured out some for himself.

Kahoko took a sip of the wine.

Ryo watched her anxiously.

_I wonder… he seems so jumpy today_, Kahoko mused to herself, taking another sip of the wine.

"How's Tsukimori-kun?" Ryo asked, watching her expression when he said his name. She had no idea why he acted as such. She loved him.

"Oh, he's fine. A little mad because I made two mistakes during the practice, as usual," Kahoko said lightly. "I really think he should loosen up slightly." She took another sip of the wine.

"I agree," Ryotaro said, taking one of her hands and playing with it.

Kahoko tipped her head back to finish the last of the wine when something hard and cold touched her lip.

"Oh!" she cried, turning the glass upside down to examine the beautiful, diamond ring. The band didn't touch; instead, they curled away from each other at the ends and gripped the two, sparkling diamonds.

She dropped the ring on the table, shocked.

Ryo picked it up and went to her, kneeling.

She stared at him like an idiot.

"Hino Kahoko," he began, his voice slow but excited. "Kaho, I love you. Will you marry me?"

She continued to stare at him.

_Just say yes, you idiot. He'll be yours, forever._

"Kaho?"

"Yes!" she blurted. Smiling, Ryo first slid the ring onto her fourth finger, and then wiped off the tears she didn't know were rolling down her cheeks.

"You don't have to cry," he murmured.

"I know, but oh! I'm so happy!" She threw her arms around him and kissed him passionately. His large hands rubbed her back soothingly, lovingly as she pressed her self against his body.

_He is forever mine._


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the long wait... Constructive criticism!!! thanks to those who reviewed/plan to review.  
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Chapter Two**

"Hino-san!"

"Kaho-chan!"

"Hino!"

"Kaho!"

Her friends clustered excitedly around her. Kahoko knew that the only reason why they were so excited was because of her flushed face. Well, all except one handsome guy.

"Hey, guys," she greeted them, waving with her left hand.

Amou grabbed it. "WAIT! I think I saw something." She flipped her hand over and saw the ring.

All was silent for exactly half a moment.

"_Oh my God! He proposed!_"

Kahoko winced, covering her ears. "Ouch, Amou-san!"

"You forget that I'm here," Ryo's deep voice said from behind Kahoko. She turned and saw her fiancé walking up with his black coat unzipped and two cups of steaming hot coffee in each of his hands. She accepted one and sipped it.

"Girls like her should come with volume control," Tsukimori muttered, his topaz eyes never looking at his employee at all. Kahoko wondered why she felt sad because of that. She tried to tell herself that it was only because she thought that he would be nicer to her when she agreed to join him in a duet. He had offered to pay her, so that made her the employee, or so she thought.

Ryotaro laid a hand on Kahoko's shoulder; did he notice how her eyes flickered to Tsukimori? She pushed away the thought.

_I shouldn't be worrying about how Tsukimori would react_, Kahoko scolded herself. _I should be worrying about normal wedding things._

Mio jumped up and down. "Can I do your wedding?" she pleaded, widening her eyes in a gesture she knew would make her friend melt.

"Sure, Mio. Whatever you want."

Mio beamed. Hihara and Yunoki burst out laughing at her happy face.

Ryo laughed too, and ruffled Kahoko's hair. She scowled at him playfully and combed her hair.

Meanwhile, a certain blue haired man stared at her with a saddened, longing look in his eyes. Then, his gaze switched to Ryotaro, and he looked jealous for a single second before he turned away again.

_It's been so long…_ he thought, forcing down the sadness._ I'm too late_.

How could he tell her now? How could he tell her that she was the only one to touch his cold, stone-like heart and made him feel love? She would feel angry, because she loved his rival. Then she would never see him again. He could never bear that.

But he must still try.


	3. Chapter 3

**Please review! Constructive criticism is good for me. **

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Chapter Three**

Len waited, rather impatiently, with his assistant, an old, minor violinist called Jake. He was a European, but spoke rather good Japanese.

"Calm down, sir," Jake told Len as he paced. "She'll come."

Len sighed, slowing. "I hope so."

Just then, Hino bounded through the door. "Sorry I'm late!" she gasped. "I slept in."

_In Tsuchiura's arms_, Len thought, then caught himself.

"That's all right," he told her. "We didn't wait long," he lied. They actually had been waiting for her for over an hour.

She looked relieved as she stepped into his mansion and followed him into the soundproof room.

"Are you ready?"

She quickly got out her violin and they stood at ready while Jake drifted away and let them be by themselves, as Len had asked him to. Hino frowned.

"Where's he going?"

"Oh, he doesn't feel well today," Len lied smoothly. "I told him to take the day off. Is that fine?"

She blushed, and Len swallowed, thinking how beautiful she was. He could barely look at her left hand, where the engagement ring that seemed to taunt him lay. He tore his eyes from her and cleared his throat. "Shall we do the eighth bar? I remember you making several mistakes in that one."

"All right."

Together, they played Pachelbel's Canon until Len was satisfied.

"Let's take a break," he suggested, his heart racing. This was the moment he had been waiting for.

Hino nodded, and sat down promptly, playing with the ring on her finger.

Len sat down, too, and watched her.

It was she who finally broke the silence. "You know… Ryo thinks that we have… something between us," she said slowly. "I told him no. We are just friends. But… the way he looked at you yesterday… I begin to wonder why he didn't believe me."

Len swallowed and lowered his eyes. _I know why. He knows that I'm in love with you. I try to stop, but somehow, I can't. Hino, you don't know how much I love you… I can't call you mine, and it hurts me. I love you, Kahoko._

He didn't say it out loud, but Hino seemed to hear him. Her head snapped up, and her eyes widened with understanding.

"Oh…"

Len refused to look at her, and clenched his hands into fists.

Hino stood and began packing her things. "I'd… better get going," she mumbled. "I have to… do… stuff."

"No, wait," Len started, standing. She didn't look at him. "Please, stay," he told her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Don't go. Not yet." Did she hear the desperation in his voice?

She didn't shrug off his hands as she froze. He caressed her shoulders gently.

"Len…" she said, pained.

Now he froze.

She turned, her expression guilty.

"Tsukimori-kun," she corrected herself.

Len sighed, and cupped her face gently in his cold hands. His thumbs smoothed over her silky skin and she shut her eyes, holding her breath.

_(Hino)_

_What does it mean?_ She thought to herself fearfully as her heart raced. _Why do his hands feel so warm, as if they were heated yet I know they are cold? Why do I like this? Why is my heart racing so fast? Why is it when Ryo touches me, I never feel this way at all? Am I afraid of this man?_

Then something pressed against her lips, and she jerked back, for it was as if a current had passed through them. Her eyes flew open and she tried to twist out of his grip.

"Kahoko…" Len's sweet breath fanned across her face, making her blush furiously, but that blush was nothing to the one when she realized that he just used her given name. "Kaho…"

"Let go of me," she tried to order him, but her voice came out puny and weak.

"Listen," he pleaded. "I love you, Kaho, and I don't want you to marry him! I want you to be mine, and mine only. I know this is too late, but please remember me, remember that you would have options of you need them. I love you. You're the only one to ever touch my heart. It first started with your music, but it became something more, I believe. But by the time I realized my feelings for you, it was too late and you were already in love with Tsuchiura."

"I love _him,_ Tsukimori! We're engaged already. You don't understand! I don't… I don't…"

He pressed his lips to hers again, cutting her off. She gasped, but relaxed, and her hands twisted into his hair, holding his face against hers. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed the back of her neck, making her shiver. Kahoko felt something she knew that she had never felt before – love. True love. As much as she enjoyed it, she knew that this placed her in a difficult position.

For she loved Ryo, too, so much. For her to choose between them would be an emotional experience. She never wanted to break either man's heart. Ryo didn't deserve that pain, and Tsukimori… well, she felt that this would hurt her as much as it did him. She didn't want to drive a deeper wedge between them. She only wanted the best… for her two guys.

Tears ran down her cheek as she pulled away from him and pressed her face into his shirt. She felt his elation as he held her gently against his body, running into her own body. Elation and sadness… they never mixed well.

Len kissed her hair, and laid his cheek on her hair. She shuddered, and started to sob.

"Hino? Hino-san, are you all right?" he asked her anxiously, pushing her away from him to get a better look at her.

She covered her face and stayed that way until the sobbing died down. Then, Kahoko wiped her eyes and stood carefully, never looking into his face.

"I have to go now," she said in a soft, almost inaudible voice. She closed her violin case and walked with it, out the door, never looking back at the man who was supposed to be her true love. Her head felt odd. Light. Too light.

The young woman heard him calling her name, but she didn't turn. She hurried on, out the door, feeling dizzy. As her hand touched the doorknob, the dizziness became too much and she fell into unconsciousness, gratefully leaving behind the pain that would soon double.


	4. Chapter 4

**Umm... as a token of apology, I'm going to finish updating this story. I'd finished writing it ages ago but didn't really have the time to update regularly so... and I'm afraid that I'll be rather busy starting tomorrow until... the end of November, I think. So I don't really want you guys to wait and... here we are!**

**Disclaimer: Every time I write this single word, you already know what I'm going to say, so there's no point in this, right?**

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Chapter Four**

Everything was so bright when her eyes finally fluttered open. Her whole body felt cold, except for her hand, which was warm. She shut her eyes again, because the light hurt her eyes.

She vaguely remembered the sadness that had overwhelmed her. _Why was I so sad? _

In the background, someone was crying. She felt irritated.

Then everything came back in a rush.

The kiss. The declaration. The crushing grief, the wonderful happiness… so many feelings had overcome her. Len… Len!

Her eyes flew open again and met Ryo's worried pair. Ryo kissed her cheek. "Are you all right, Kaho?"

No, she was not all right. She could never be all right, now. It was too much… She couldn't hurt him this way. It wasn't right. It wasn't good, after all he'd done for her.

"Yes," she whispered, but her voice cracked.

Ryo closed his eyes in pain.

"What happened? Where am I?" But she already knew.

"You fainted after leaving… Tsukimori's house. You're in the hospital."

"Why?"

"Oh, Kaho!" her mother wailed. Kahoko turned, shocked, to look at the older woman.

"Mom? What's wrong?" she demanded, her voice rising in panic. The moniter beeped erratically as her heart sped.

Just then, a doctor and a nurse came in. The doctor was a dark haired man with the nametag Kyo Hanabusa, and the nurse a pretty brunette with a nametag she couldn't see.

"Ah, Hino-san! You're finally awake. It was also surprising the number of people wanting to see you while you were ill, although we forbid them to see you. Only your mother and fiancé we allowed." The doctor smiled.

"Thank you, doctor, but what's wrong with me?"

The doctor's smile faded, and he just turned around and took a look at the monitor.

"Hm… Heart rate… fine… I wonder…" he started to mutter some things about medical instruments Kahoko had never even heard about.

Meanwhile, the nurse changed the bag hanging from the IV line and did countless other things. Kahoko waited impatiently.

Once they were done, Kahoko asked them again, "What's wrong with me?"

The doctor hesitated, and looked at her mother. Mrs. Hino nodded, her eyes filling up with tears again. Kahoko gave her mother a mystified look before turning to the doctor.

"Hino…" The doctor patted her leg. "Remember that there are some diseases in this world that cannot be cured, and some that can fester without the person realizing."

Kahoko's breath caught. "What's wrong with me? Do I have AIDS?" Ryo's eyes tightened at the word.

"No, Hino. You're actually quite lucky. Your disease is curable and only recently started."

"What do I have?" Kahoko's voice cracked and Ryo' hand tightened around hers.

Ryo leaned in closer. "Kaho, honey. You have cancer."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

It was as if her world was falling apart. Her future was gone. She was bound to this bed to the end of eternity.

"Cancer? How? But… it's impossible!" Kahoko felt distressed, and her heart rate sped again. "I can't have cancer! You got it wrong, you've got it wrong," she chanted. She turned to Ryo for help. "Tell them!" she insisted.

Ryo shook his head sadly. "It's true, Kaho."

Her mother had to leave her. She was crying too hard. The nurse followed.

Her heart stopped and dropped like a stone.

It was true. She had cancer. She was sick – very sick.

"You're lucky that we caught this early," the doctor told her calmly. "There's still a chance to save you."

She stared at him in disbelief. "Lucky?" she demanded. "Lucky? You call having this sickness lucky?"

"Kaho, calm down," Ryo murmured, stroking her cheek. She jerked away from him.

"Go away," she growled to the both of them. "Leave me alone."

The doctor nodded understandingly, but Ryo gritted his teeth.

"Young man, it would be better if you left her. She needs time alone," he told Ryo gently, before leaving.

Ryo hesitated, but followed soon after, with a promise to be back.

I didn't reply.

As soon as the door was shut, I ducked under the covers and shielded myself from the world, and let the all the grief, fear, sadness and pains overwhelm my mind and wash me away from the sane world.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter SixThree months later…

Kahoko rubbed her shorn head morosely staring into a pocket mirror. She didn't say anything as she tossed the mirror across the bed, landing between her feet.

Outside, the day was sunny and perfect. Kahoko longed to go out again and have fun, but knew that she would never be allowed to.

Someone knocked on her door.

"Go ahead and come in," she said brusquely, thinking that it would be either her mother or Ryotaro.

A bunch of flowers covered the upper torso of a man. Kahoko's heart skipped a beat as Len poked his head around the flowers. She scrambled under the covers.

"Go away!"

"You just told me to come in," he replied calmly. "So I did."

"Go _away_," she hissed from under the sheets. The bed jiggled as he sat down and placed a hand on where her shoulders were. "How the hell did you even get in here?"

"Your mother allowed me to come. I'll have to say that your lovely fiancé isn't exactly very happy, though." Amazingly, his voice was amused.

"Go away!"

"I wanted to see you."

"No! I'm ugly. I'm hideous! Go!" Tears trembled in her voice as she traced one of the lesions on her face. She couldn't face him like this. Not when he looked so healthy, so perfect. Her mind drifted to his perfect face.

But it hurt her to not see him. She loved him.

Len sighed and pulled back the covers. "Hino, it's all right," he said calmly as she curled into a ball, facing away from him. "I won't run." His eyes traced the lesions he could see on her arm and drifted to her now bare head, where abundant red hair once grew.

"Go away, Len," she whimpered. "I can't…"

He caught her wrists with his large, cold hands, and forced her to look at him, no matter how much she struggled or pulled away. He saw more lesions on her neck and face. _Skin cancer_, he thought musingly to himself, feeling sad.

Her voice trembled, "Please… just go."

"I don't care how you look like," Len murmured, sitting her up. Kahoko whipped her head around to look at him, her wild eyes pleading. Gently, he traced the lesion on her face and she shuddered.

"I'm… hideous, aren't I?" Her voice broke.

Yes, she was, but he didn't want to tell her that. He hated seeing her like this. He hated her for cowering from him. He wanted to make her feel better. He didn't care, even if he had to give her up, or even if he must die to save her, he would do it. For her.

The doctor's voice came back to him. _Her situation is worsening day by day. If all goes wrong, she could die by the end of the year. I've never seen a case like this. She's so scared, so unwilling to pull through. If someone could help her find the will to live, that would really help. Right now, it's almost as if the cancer is the king of her body, and her cells are fast asleep. That's a very bad thing. She won't even talk to anyone, not even her fiancé. She won't eat, and drinks very little, and that worsens her condition even more. _

Now, she was talking to him.

"Kahoko," he breathed her name.

She froze and stared at him with wide eyes.

He kissed the lesion on her wrist, and rubbed his thumb on her shallow, sunken cheek. He didn't like the look of those lilac circles under her eyes, or the pained look that came into her eyes ever so often.

Yes, she was getting worse.

"Oh, Len," she whispered back, and touched his cheek with thin, cold, trembling fingers. He caught her wrists again, handling them gently for he felt that even under the slightest pressure, they'll snap; they looked so fragile.

Suddenly, she winced.

"What's wrong?" Len demanded, his eyes darting towards to call button. Should he press it?

"Nothing," she gasped. "It's… normal."

_No it's not_, Len wanted to say, but kept his mouth shut.

Soon, she relaxed into his arms, and closed her eyes. Len held her carefully, making sure that he didn't break anything. She had a lot of tubes connected to countless machines.

"Kaho… Are you fighting?"

Kahoko froze. _Am I fighting? Am I fighting for my life?_

"I don't know."

He caught her shoulders and stared into her eyes. She stared back fearlessly, feeling hideous yet again.

Len swallowed. "Keep fighting for your life," he whispered hoarsely. "No matter what."

Staring into his beautiful eyes, she agreed. "I will." _For you_.

And sleep took her. She was at peace, because he was near.

Len stared at the once beautiful girl, feeling more helpless than ever. He knew that she would fight, and lose. He came too late. _Don't leave me. Don't ever leave me._


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Len came each day to coax her to eat and drink, and help her sleep. He didn't care what Ryotaro thought. And at least once a week, he would bring her out into the hospital's garden – with her in the wheelchair and her best friend, the IV line, which was taking on the qualities of a golden retriever, following her everywhere she went – to play the violin for her. Sometimes, her other friends would accompany him in the songs, and give her company, too.

He liked seeing her peaceful face whenever she heard the sound of her favorite instrument. He thought that after he'd played, her eyes were brighter, and her skin rosier, and the lesions fainter, but it was just his imagination. She was as bad as before, maybe even worse.

The cerulean haired violinist was sucked into a void so deep that, when all failed, he would never find himself again. He knew that, but refused to give up.

Len stopped outside her door, holding his violin and a bunch of orange blossoms and roses. He was about to throw open the door when he heard his name. As it was, he left it open so he could hear.

"… Tsukimori comes here everyday. I wonder why, Kaho?" It was Ryotaro.

"He's trying to help me," Kaho said defensively, her voice hoarse and weak. "Like all of you here."

"Or maybe he's infatuated with you." Ryo's voice was acidic.

Len's hand tightened on the knob.

"So what if he is?" Kaho demanded hoarsely. "Isn't that good? You have someone else to mourn with when I'm gone. Someone who understands how you feel."

His head hurt. _No, don't say that_, he wanted to beg. _Never say that. You're going to live_.

But deep in his heart, he knew that she wasn't.

"Don't say that, Kahoko!" Ryo snapped, taking his words out of his mind. "Never say that. You'll survive, I promise you."

She sighed. "Ryo, I know. It's bad. It hurts. I'm weakening. Do you think that I could survive? Tell me honestly, Ryo. Look into my eyes and tell me."

No answer.

"See? Even you know. It's the truth, Ryotaro. There's no escaping it. I want to enjoy my life as I wish. I want to spend it with you, my mother, Len, and my friends. Is that such a crime, to hear them play their songs when I can never play my own violin again? To keep me company when I feel lonely?"

"You have me," Ryo muttered.

"And I love you, too. I love all of you," Kaho rasped.

"Do you love Len? As a friend or more?"

Silence. Len's breath caught. _What would she say?_

"More," Ryo murmured. "I knew it." There was terrible sadness in his voice.

"Ryo…"

Footsteps sounded on the other side of the door. He stepped back and tried to pretend that he'd just arrived.

"Ryo, come back!" Kahoko pleaded, her voice weak. Len could imagine her reaching out her hand for him.

Ryotaro glared at Len before striding past him and into the hall quickly. Len stared after him before slipping into her room.

She was holding his ring in her hands, her eyes pooling tears. She didn't say anything as he set the flowers by her bedside table, not in the least triumphant that they were over. Her tears could never make him happy.

"Can I get you anything?" he whispered.

She shook her head mutely, never looking up from the ring. Tears spilled down her cheeks.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Just leave me alone." Her voice broke twice in the sentence and was followed by a choked sob. Len backed away to the door, feeling terrible. It was his fault that she was like this.

Once in the hall, he spun on his heel and raced after Ryotaro, feeling the void of loneliness waiting for him once again as he ran to find his rival, in more ways than one. _This must be done_.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

"Tsuchiura-san!"

Ryo turned and glared at Len.

"What do you want?" he asked coldly.

Len glared back. "I want you to apologize to Hino," he said stiffly, covering up his pain. "She feels terrible now. You shouldn't stress her like that."

"So you know her better than I?"

"I know her well enough to know that fighting with you would never help her survive. For all you know, she could be spiraling back to the stage where she never wants to survive," Len snapped.

"She's stronger than that."

"She loves you."

"She loves you too."

"But not as much as you. She has been with you longer."

Ryotaro laughed heartlessly. "And all that time, she and I never sparked. She loves me, that's true, but I've seen the way the two of you look at each other. I'd never seen that in her eyes when she looks at me. We weren't made for each other."

"You're going to leave her as she is now? When she's at her worst and could even die any moment?" Len demanded, his temper flaring.

"She needs you more than she needs me. I know that now."

"But what of her mind?"

"She'll get over me. Girls always do." His voice had a bitter, mocking edge.

Len frowned. "It's not right."

Ryotaro's eyes flashed angrily. "Just go back to your love," he growled. "I've got better things to do."

"Yeah? More hearts to break, I assume."

Ryo glared wordlessly.

"Just go back," Len pleaded. "I'll do anything."

Ryotaro raised an eyebrow. "You'll be at my service?"

Len nodded.

"I want you to stay away from her for the rest of your lives. If I see you within three meters of her…" Ryotaro glared, letting the threat hand in midair.

_It's for the best,_ Len told himself. "Yes," he said quietly. "I agree to stay away from her."

With a heavy heart, Len exited the hospital and drifted back into the empty pocket of time and music.

Where he would be alone… forever.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Kahoko lay on her back, staring at the ceiling through tear filled eyes.

"Kaho."

She shot up, ignoring the pain that shot through her.

"Ryo!"

He pressed a kiss to her lips and sighed.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "I… acted rashly. Tsukimori helped me see that."

"Tsukimori?" Len. Of course he would. "Where is he?"

Ryo's voice hardened. "He and I… we made a little deal."

Kahoko's eyes widened. "Oh. What deal?"

His voice became harsh. "He agreed never to see you again."

Kahoko's eyes widened further, and she froze where she was.

_We would never walk over the fields of the earth,_

_Never hear the birds in the morning_.

"Kaho?"

She didn't reply. She was too shocked. _He would do anything for me_, she thought, and her face became softer as she thought of the young cerulean haired violinist. Ryo watched the change and what he read in her face pained him. He understood vaguely how Len must've felt when he saw her crying.

Only this was much worse.

He swallowed.

"Kaho."

"He's… not… coming… back?" she whispered in a small voice. She seemed to hunch into herself.

"No."

All hell broke through when he saw terrible pain flash across her face, again and again, each time a different pain. He kept his silence, however.

Then she whispered, "I see."

"You see?" He was confused.

Tongue-tied, Kahoko nodded infinitesimally. Her eyes were dry, but were filled with so much pain that it deemed impossible that anyone could survive such pain.

He realized it now. She loved him, more than anything else. That explained her pains. She could never love anything more than he, and they would understand each other in a single second. They couldn't stand each other's pain, and would give up anything to shield each other from anything. Ryo bet that if Len could change places with her, he would, and vice versa.

But it was too late.

"I want to be alone now," she whispered. "Please, Ryo?"

Ryotaro nodded, feeling emotional. He couldn't believe what he just did. His throat clogged up. _I stood in the way of true love_.

0.o.0.o.0

Back in his mansion, Len left his violin in its case on the couch and walked upstairs in a daze to his room. In his room, he fell on his bed, and shut his eyes. For the first time in his twenty-three years of life, he let the tears come and take him.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Alone. He was alone.

The last note of the song Kahoko played in the third selection (1) faded away and Len opened his eyes. How ironic that the song was asked to be played by him just when he lost his own lover. The good news was that he could put his emotions into that song.

_There's no way around this_._ We'll never get another chance with each other_.

In the last two months, Len felt as though he had aged four hundred years. There had been no messages from either Mrs. Hino or Tsuchiura to say if Kaho had lived or died. The silence tortured him, but he refused to ask. He was afraid to.

Fresh pain blossomed in his heart when he remembered her tears that day.

I wonder… if I'd burst in, would I have managed to stop it? Or would the situation would be worse that this? … but I can't turn the clock. No one can. Fate is cruel to me, as time is cruel to her, taking her breath slowly until her body becomes white and pale and lifeless and I'll never see her again… until I have finished all my days.

A song of mourning came to him. He remembered it from a book he read when he was but a child.

We'll never walk over the fields of the earth,

Never hear the birds in the morning.

Oh, I have lived with you and loved you

And now you are gone away.

Gone where I cannot follow

Until I have finished all my days.

Unconsciously, his hands tightened on his violin and bow.

Yes, she is now gone away, gone where I cannot follow until I have finished all my days. Even if she lives… I cannot see her weep like that day. Oh, Lord! Help me.

Len trembled from head to toe and leaned against the wall as his brain went into an overdrive and his body suddenly refused to do his will.

Drink. I need something to drown my feelings in. He stumbled to the kitchen, somehow managing to control his body that much, and searched for the heroin he remembered seeing some months ago. He yanked out the bottle and took a swig of it, and then, still holding the bottle, he spun and ran out the kitchen.

He was completely alone. Even Jake had left to see his family yesterday. The house was eerie and quiet… too quiet. He wanted laughter. He wanted her.

His next stop was the bathroom closet, where he grabbed the cold pills and swallowed two, washing them down with the heroin. Then he ran into his room. He slammed the drink on his bedside table and threw himself on his bed, and lost himself in the deep void of anguish.

0.o.0.o.0

The next day, he woke up with a terrible headache.

I've lost my mind, he thought to himself as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. Half-crazed eyes stared back at him, and his hair was messy. His shirt was only half buttoned and had creases, which the old Len would never bear with. It could have been his imagination, but he seemed to be shaking, and his skin seemed sallower, unhealthy, as though he had been the one who was sick, not…

Len stopped, and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples. No, don't think about that. Think about something else.

He tried to remember the tune of the songs he was supposed to play, but somehow they evaded him. Good thing he had a month to practice. That could take up his time, and help block out unwanted thoughts.

In his room, he grabbed a book, not caring what it was about, and sat down on the couch to read. The first few chapters he couldn't concentrate, but after that, he realized that it was a romantic book. Len tossed the book over his shoulder furiously; it landed somewhere with a hard thump that couldn't feel too good.

Wrapping his arms around his upper torso, Len leaned back and shut his eyes, but they snapped open when her face came into his mind.

He needed someone to comfort him. Someone who understood his predicament. Someone who would laugh at this, and make him feel better. Someone whose humor was strong enough to make him laugh, too.

Hihara-senpai.

His feelings for her weren't private, so he would know how Len felt.

But he doesn't understand what we have. He would never understand that. And he's got Mio now, so he isn't in love with her, too. He likes her as a friend.

I guess I'm alone, after all.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Footsteps. His footsteps echoed through the woods as he ran, searching for her. Always searching for her.

_His panic rose when he realized that she wasn't there. It threatened to break him, to tear him into pieces. _

_It was so dark. The future was so dark._

_There was nothing to look for. There was nothing to find in this void of loneliness._

_He was alone. _

0.o.0.o.0

Len shot up, sweating and panting.

When he assured himself that it was just a dream, he kicked off the covers and ran to the bathroom, where he threw up.

As he slumped over the basin, he shuddered and turned off the tap. He hoped he hadn't wakened up Jake.

He raised his head and stared at himself in the mirror.

His cheeks were now shallow and under his tired, wild golden eyes were pale circles. His skin was white and bloodless, and while last time his hands were just cold, they now felt like ice. Although, rationally, he knew that his lungs, heart and other organs were there, it felt like they were no more.

_It's bad_, he thought to himself. _It's very bad._

He checked his watch. It was five thirty in the morning. _Well, that's an improvement_, he thought wryly as he turned on the shower and stepped inside. _Yesterday I woke at four, and three fifty-two the day before_.

After his shower, he dressed quickly and slipped to his room and shut the door, and sat on the couch, huddling into the corner with both hands hugging his torso. _I wonder… is she hanging on? Or is she already dead, and rotting in the cemetery? _

His hands brushed his collarbone and he sighed.

"They're right," Len said aloud. "I'm going mad."

"I don't believe that."

Len jumped up and whirled to face the big man at his door. His hands clenched into fists, and he had to fight the urge to hit him.

Tsuchiura Ryotaro looked at him tiredly. "Well… now I do. You look bad. Even worse than me," he tried to joke, but his smile never reached his eyes.

Len eyed him carefully, and then a thought struck him. There was only one reason for this man to come here. And that meant…

"Is she…?" Len choked out, his hands flying to his throat.

Ryotaro wearily ran a hand through his green hair. "No."

Len almost crumpled in relief. She was alive. At least he knew.

Ryo sighed. "But she's worse. Much, much worse."

His hope crumbled into nothing. She was still going to die. Len swallowed convulsively and shook his head. _This cannot be happening. _

"I believe she's holding on only to see you, and have a little chat with you. I came here… I came here as a favor to her. She wants you to visit her, and play the violin. Don't worry, I won't leave her if you break the promise," Ryo added hurriedly at his face. "If this can help her… then I want you to be there. I won't say anything. Please, Tsukimori, would you help her?"

Len sensed that it was hard for him to bend his pride enough to say that. He appreciated it, but what if this didn't help? How could he handle that? _Can_ he handle that?

"I don't know…" Len stalled.

"Please, Tsukimori Len. She needs you." He looked ready to get on his knees.

"I'll have to think about it," Len mumbled wearily. His head hurt.

Ryo nodded sadly, and his eyes dulled. "I understand how you must feel. Her new room number is on this paper. I've asked them to let you in, if you want to. Please, at least consider this."

_No, you don't understand_, Len disagreed as the other man turned and walked out his door. _You never will._

Len slumped down again and lolled his head against the back of the chair as he thought.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

_I'm definitely trying to kill myself_, Len decided as he parked his car in the hospital's parking lot. He grabbed his violin and strode, very slowly, to where her new room was. _The trees are so colorful. Autumn is such a beautiful time, but it's also a sad time. It's the time the leaves fall and die away. It's the time before winter. _

Ryo was sitting outside her door with a terrible looking, wailing Mrs. Hino, and Kaho's sister who looked equally as bad as both of them.

Ryo looked up when Len arrived and Mrs. Hino's wailing ceased a little. "She's sleeping," was all he said before Mrs. Hino started wailing again.

"Oh, my child! My beautiful child!"

A tired looking doctor came out Kaho's room and looked at them. "How is she?" Len asked with more intensity that usual.

The doctor looked at Len wearily. "If all goes badly… we could lose her in a few days. It's almost like no one matches her bone marrow, so there's no chance of her getting one now. She is reacting badly to the chemo, and barely eats or drinks," he murmured before moving on.

Len's heart stuttered and picked up again. His hands tightened around his violin case's handle.

A few days. That's all the time he had left with her. He had to make each moment a memorable one. At that, he laughed at himself.

"I'll go in," he told Ryo softly before slipping through the door.

His heart almost stopped when he saw the beautiful girl lying on the bed. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was shallow. Her terrifyingly fragile and thin hand seemed blue against the white sheets. The IV line dripped a thick liquid into her veins, and an oxygen mask covered the bottom half of her too thin face. She had many machines hooked into her. The monitor beeped slowly, as if to emphasize her weakening heart.

But as he stared at her, he felt the hole closing, and he was whole once more. Suddenly, breathing became easier, and his hands felt warm. The ache in his temples eased, and his vision became brighter.

Suddenly, her eyes fluttered open and she turned her head fractionally to look at him. A small smile graced her beautiful face when she saw him.

"I… knew you… would come," she breathed; her voice was too thin, softer than usual.

He did his best to force a smile for her. "And I knew you'd hang on for me."

She tried to raise her limp hand, but he quickly strode over to her and took it for her. Her hands were cold and icy. Like his.

He kissed her knuckles and she fluttered her fingers feebly, trying to catch his face. He held her hands against his cheek for her, and she smiled.

"Thank you."

He breathed in her wonderful smell. "You're welcome," he breathed, his hot breath fanning across her cold hand.

"Len…" she hesitated. "Len… when I'm gone…"

"Don't say that," he interrupted. She ignored him.

"When I'm gone… there's a letter… for you… to read… in… my… bag." With her limp hand she gestured toward the black bag beside her bed. "Front… pocket."

Len closed his eyes. "Kaho…"

She chuckled.

"I've missed you," she told him.

"And I, too." She traced his features with her index finger, making him shiver. His heart longed for this girl.

But he could never have her.

As she drifted off into sleep, he lay his cheek on her hand and felt the weight on his heart lift for the moment and fly off into the air. He was home.


	13. Epilogue

Epilogue

She left them on a mid-autumn night.

It had been a peaceful death, the doctor said. She felt no pain.

Len was glad for that. Glad that she would never again feel pain, that she would never be sick again, where she was.

As he stood beside his former rival and Hihara, Len felt empty. He was crippled, yet perfect. Ryotaro was crying softly, while Hihara was wailing louder than Mrs. Hino herself. Kaho's friends were all weeping around him, yet he felt nothing. It was as if she had taken away his ability to feel when she left them. His chest was hollow.

In the oak casket, Kahoko wore the dress she wore for the second selection, and her hands were crossed over her violin – the bridge of her violin, to be exact. Her bow lay beside her. Len, Ryo and her mother insisted that this was her prized possession, and should follow her into the afterlife. Her hair – a wig the exact same color as her old hair – fanned out behind her, and her face was filled with peace. A small smile was on her lips, as though she was trying to make them all feel better by communicating that she was happy where she was.

The priest stepped up. "We gather here today to celebrate the life of Hino Kahoko…"

As the priest went on, Len's mind drifted back to the night she died. He had been with her.

"_Kahoko," Len murmured, stroking her face. She smiled at him, and sighed. "Kaho, I love you. Remember that, always."_

"_I will," she whispered._

_Len shuddered. "If only I can take your place…" He closed his eyes and hunched his shoulders against the grief. "If only if I could follow…"_

_Amazingly, she found the strength to cup his face. He jumped, blinking. "Take… off… my mask," she breathed._

_He started. "No…"_

"_Please. I want… to… kiss you." She smiled again._

_Hesitantly, he lifted her mask and laid it down beside her. She pulled his face closer and pressed her icy lips to his. _

_His heart raced as she deepened the kiss, and he wrapped his arms around her lovingly, and held her close to his body…_

_Then, under his hands, she seemed to stiffen and harden. He pulled away as the monitor started the alarm, and nurses and doctors rushed into her room, ordering him out while they tried to resurrect her. _

_But he knew that the life of Hino Kahoko was at the end. She would never live again. _

"… Please step up and throw a handful of dirt onto the casket," the priest was saying.

Hino's family went first, then Ryo, then it was Len's turn. Swallowing, he scattered the dirt over her casket, then stepped away.

We would never walk over the fields of the earth

_Never hear the birds in the morning.  
Oh, I have lived with you and loved you_

_And now you are gone away._

_Gone where I cannot follow_

_Until I have finished all my days._

Len took his place beside Ryo and sent up a silent prayer to her, hoping that she would hear him.

_Be happy_, her voice whispered in his mind with the gentle breeze that passed through them. He closed his eyes and imagined her arms around him, hugging him close.

_I will._


End file.
